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For emails from coworkers in the main game, see Emails from Coworkers

Emails from coworkers in Viscera Cleanup Detail's DLC levels are printed notes the player receives upon completion of a level, as a way to add further immersion to the game. They are posted in the Office along with any relevant Ending Messages. These messages differ from those found in the main game.

The emails are usually angry or spiteful in content, and often in the form of death threats. They fall into three basic categories, dependent on the player's score:

  • Promotion Envy (score 70% and above; "Acceptable", "Excellent", or Employee of the Month ratings)
  • Goodbye Notes (score 69% and below; "Awful" rating, Player is Fired)
  • Company Shut-Down (score -25% and under, received by punching out leaving a bigger mess)

It should be noted that none of the actions or threats in the emails are actually carried out during gameplay.

Promotion Envy Edit

House of HorrorEdit

From: *sender hidden*
Subject: Do You Like Corpse Worms?
Date: Yesterday: 4:23 PM

Dear novice:

You have crossed me for the last time...
You won't know who I am, but I know you, and I know how you're going to die.
Hung from the bathroom pipes, naked, corpse worms left to feed on you until the others find you.

You better believe it, I've got a whole god damn collection of the slimey buggers, and they're all yours...

-Anonymous
From: bonerdetective@sloshmail.com
Subject: Your ass is mine!
Date: Today: 09:51 AM

Oh you've done it now...

I've been clawing my way up the ranks for years, doing every nasty job the grand masters want me to, hoping to get a god damn promotion.
Then you fucking come along and take that shit from me!

To hell with that fucking "don't spill a brother's blood" shit!
I0'm going to cut you up good, leave you bleeding, hung from some lamp-post.

Just you wait...

-Freakshow Ted
From: fe$tering_pu$tule@damnation.mail
Subject: Cold Vengence
Date: Today: 5:41 AM

Dear dickhead:

The next time you take a promotion from me will be the last time you have ears.
Do it again, and it'll be the last time you have anything...

I live in a crappy shack, but I have a special place just for you...
It's nice, it has a picture of you, blood all over it, and there's a nice cool freezer-box nearby about your size...

If you cross me again, I'll be filling it with your corpse!

-A very pissed novice!
From: bloatedfloater@hatemail.com
Subject: Dear Jerk
Date: Tuesday: 02:07 PM

Dear Jerk:

You are like a stagnant bog, jerk.
I hope you get an intestinal parasite and die!

Your voice/costume/art/work/face/kid sucks, bad!
PS: Eat worms and die!

-Bloated Floater


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Santa's RampageEdit

From: *sender hidden*
Subject: A Gift From Santa
Date: Yesterday: 1:46 PM

Dear colleague:

You have crossed me for the last time...
You don't know who I am, but I know you, and I'm sending you a special gift.
Your excitement will turn to ash in your mouth as you open the last gift-wrapped box of your life.

It is almost time now, are you excited?

Soon my friend, soon...

-Anonymous
From: agentmopmaster@sloshmail.com
Subject: Your bottom is mine!
Date: Today: 05:23 AM

Hahaha, that's it you're dead...

I've spent years inching my way up the corporate ladder, doing every disgusting job on offer, hoping to god damn well get somewhere.
Then guess what? You fucking come along and take that piss from me!

To hell with "mercy", I'm going to cook your arse for new year's turkey!
I'm going to cut you up slice by slice.
A foul feast for a foul beast.

Just you wait...

-Edgar Firecock
From: roger_button_nose@alpine.mail
Subject: Snowman, meet Hypothermia
Date: Today: 10:51 AM

Dear Fuck-tard:

This is the last time you take a promotion from me!

I hear it's snowing outside, it would be a shame if you were to die of hypothermia.
Well that's exactly what's going to happen.
I have a drug I'm going to inject you with, then I'm going to make a snowman out of you and let little children stuff carrots into your face!

This may be the worst holiday ever, but I'm an optimist, so I'll make the most of it...

-A very peeved individual!
From: satanclause@hatemail.com
Subject: Dear Scum
Date: Tuesday: 03:27 PM

Dear Scum:

You are like a rotting Christmas pudding, scum.
I hope you get a dissapointing gift and die!

Your style/gifts/opinion/tradition sucks, bad!
PS: Eat eggnog and die!

-Satan Clause


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Shadow WarriorEdit

From: *sender hidden*
Subject: A Little Something Sweet
Date: Yesterday: 2:21 PM

Dear colleague:

You will get away with it no longer...
You don't know who I am, but I know you, and I have great plans for you.

Know that every meal you consume may very well be your last.
I will leave a little something sweet in it, something poisonous.

No longer will you take promotions from me.
Soon, oh yes. Soon...

-Anonymous
From: sumocheeks@sloshmail.com
Subject: Your life is forfit!
Date: Today: 03:54 AM

Oho, now you've done it...

Years, years have I spent at Zilla Enterprize, clawing my way up the ladder.
I have done terrible, terrible things to get there.
And then what happens? Your disgusting hide comes along and takes everything that should rightfully be mine!

May a Sumo Wrestler sit on your face.
May fire ants eat your crotch.
May you know the suffering that only the worst deserve.

And when you die, I will be there watching, waiting to steal your shoes...

-Sumo Bandakai
From: pedo_king_elivs@shadow.mail
Subject: Say Hello To My Little Friend
Date: Today: 09:44 AM

Dear Asswipe:

This is the last time you take a promotion from me!

Do you know I recently bought a drill?
It's funny because I never do any DIY, but when it comes to you, I go out of my way.

That's why I'm going to knock you out in a dark alley, drag you to an abandoned building and do some "renovations" of my own.

But don't you worry, it'll be our little secret.
No one needs to know, at least not until they f0ind your body in the digestive tracts of a thousand rats!

Ah, can you see it?
Good, I want you to have something to look forward to...

-One exceedingly pissed maniac!
From: puddingninja@hatemail.com
Subject: Dear Dickwad
Date: Tuesday: 05:43 PM

Dear Dickwad:

You are like a chicken, fowl.
I hope you get a bad fortune cookie and die!

Your clothes/haikus/origami/karate sucks, bad!
PS: Eat bad fugu and die!

-Pudding Ninja


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Goodbye Notes Edit

House of HorrorEdit

From: necrophial42@sickos.com
Subject: Hah, it worked!
Date: Today: 3:22 PM

You're fired! Hah, this is the best news ever!:

I knew my voodoo doll would work, I just knew it!
Granted I tried to rip your head off, but I'll settle for this. Ugly damn thing it was too!

Hahaha, oh yeah! I'm so going to go celebrate this accomplishment.
Everyone will know not to mess with my shit now...

I think I'll target Amy next, you always seemed to get on well with her...

-Voodoo Child
From: lordofthebumflies_2@sloshmail.com
Subject: Best Halloween Yet
Date: Yesterday: 7:10 PM

Well well well, who's the gross one now?
You've insulted me and called me "Butt Fly" for the last time.
Now that they've finally banished your ass, I can get that fucking wardrobe of yours.
Slimy bastard, why should you get one with hinges!

No more ass kissing from you, the grand master's boot is mine!
And I intend to make it shine...

-Your "friend" Craig.

Santa's RampageEdit

From: puddingspitter11@sickos.com
Subject: Just in Time!
Date: Today: 5:08 PM

You're fired! Hah, this is great!:

I was getting really worried, I had almost run out of laxative!
Yes, it's me who's been spiking your water for months!
But don't worry, you're fired now, so I don't need to anymore, you ponce!

Hahaha, yay! I'm so going to go celebrate this accomplishment.
Perhaps with some of that eggnog you've been saving? Not the spiked one of course, hahaha.

-Laxamaniac
From: sergeantsasquatch_2@sloshmail.com
Subject: Best Christmas Yet
Date: Yesterday: 8:14 PM

Oh my, it looks like you've been fired.
Bahahahaha! You stupid dickhead.

Well, you had it coming. That beer was mine!
But it's ok, I forgive you.
At least, I did after I stole your medication, haha!

Goodbye, I hope you enjoy scratching a living on the docks, bossed around by Elves!

-Your "buddy" Joanna.

Shadow WarriorEdit

From: badgerpants8@sickos.com
Subject: It Was Me!
Date: Today: 6:11 PM

You're terminated! Hah, finally!:

Do you have any idea how long I've been sending you demotivating messages?
Oh yes, it was me who sent you those shitty Haikus!
Hahaha, watching you almost die of Karoshi last month was so satisfying, but I have to say, this is even better!

Hahaha, whew! I'm so gonna celebrate this victory, maybe by writing some more Haikus, would you like that?
I know you would, I've been saving some nice ones for this day, hahaha!

-Badger Buggerer
From: slipperypickle@sloshmail.com
Subject: Payback, bitch!
Date: Yesterday: 4:08 PM

Oh dear, it seems you've been fired.
Bahahahaha! You stupid fuck.

I want you to think back to that day you put chocolate sauce in my overalls.
I want you to remember that when you're scraping the turds out from under some rock.

You've had this coming for a long time, now you get to be the joke.
Who's laughing now, huh?
Me!

-Your "pal" Kyoshi.

Company shutdown Edit

House of HorrorEdit

From: deathbiscuits@sickos.com
Subject: FUCK!
Date: Today: 8:36 PM

YOU UTTER ASSHOLE!:

YOU GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!
I0t's your fault I'm now being retrenched.
All those long years I spent at this fucking coven, and now you get the order shut down!?

I don't fucking believe this!
I could have been an axe murder like my father, at least then I'd have accomplished something without a fuckhead like you messing it up!

Maybe I still can, I'll start with your head...

-Jane "Axe Murderer" Torrance
From: witchkettle@sloshmail.com
Subject: I will make a meal of your eyes!
Date: Today: 8:11 AM

Dear Asshole:

Thank's to you, the coven is now closing down!

I was mad at first, oh yes, very mad...
But now I've realized this is a good thing.
I've been hungering to taste your eyeballs for years now. It seems I will finally get the chance.
With no coven to protect you, I am going to harvest you bit by bit and boil you up into a nice thick broth with which I can experiment.
Oh so many things will I do with you.

No bit will be wasted, I assure you...

-One very hungry witch!

Santa's RampageEdit

From: turdstick@sickos.com
Subject: WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Date: Today: 7:11 PM

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!:

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!
It's your fault I'm now being retrenched!?
All that fucking swabbing and scrubbing, and now this!?

You think you can just come along and get the corporation shut down!
Oh I am so going to mess you up for this...

-Fred Coniferous
From: jacklovescrumpets@sloshmail.com
Subject: I'm going to punish you so bad...
Date: Today: 6:30 AM

Dear Sack of Shit:

Thank's to you, the corporation is now closing down!

Words cannot describe what I think of you, or what I'm going to do to you.

I have a chainsaw, I have ropes, I have ice, and I have all the time in the world.
Now ask yourself: "What do you get when you combine those things?"
Well, you need not wonder for long...

-One very annoyed guy

Shadow WarriorEdit

From: manureface@sickos.com
Subject: GOD DAMNIT!!!
Date: Today: 8:58 PM

I DO NOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!!:

YOU!
You're getting Zilla Sanitation shut down!?
It's your fault I'm being retrenched!?
So many years I have spent cleaning filth, and...and now this!?

Do you seriously think you can just get away with this?
We are going to make your life a living hell...

-Mr. Buttcrusher
From: samuraiweiner@sloshmail.com
Subject: I'm going to punish you so bad...
Date: Today: 9:40 AM

Dear Dog Log:

Thank's to your...incredible performance, Zilla Sanitation is now closing down!

I don't think there is any way I can make you suffer enough for this, but hell if I'm not going to try!

I have all the time in the world now to make you suffer and I shall.
It will all start with a match, and end with a crispy corpse.
The steps in between I will leave to your imagination, for now...

-One very annoyed renegade