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Ending Messages in the DLC levels of Viscera Cleanup Detail differ from the standard Ending Messages found upon level completion. Their content ties into the themes of each level.

Note that the text below is copied from the game as it appears in the game, including typos and misspellings.

Santa's Rampage Edit

Completion Notices Edit

NOTE: Certain completion notices are the same as in the base game, and will not be listed here.

Upon receiving an Employee of the Month Award
After an astonishingly skillful performance by a sanitation technician last week, they were credited with an Employee of the Month award and a special gift.

However, after receiving their reward; the chance to sit with Santa, the Janitor promptly went berserk and attacked him with a mop, causing brain damage that led to his death.

It was later revealed that "Santa" was actually just an ex-actor for hire; "Hellfieg Stromer", famous only for not being a famous actor...
Upon completing an acceptable job
Official Inspection Report
"The workshop appeared to be in a good state; more or less.
Despite searching the area thoroughly, I was unable to find anything offensive.
At least with cleaning performance.

The crew employed to work on this workshop performed acceptably, and I would tentatively recommend that they be assigned to other jobs.

I did however find a disturbing lack of urination facilities, but that's beside the point.
I would be pleased if more employees were this good.

I'll be keeping a keen eye on this restoration crew.
If they don't keep it up, they will be hearing from me."
Upon completion of a sub-par job
Official Inspection Report
I honestly ask you, was a restoration crew employeed to work this site? Because I didn't see any indication of "work". The workshop was a tragic distaster! I fear my love for Christmas has been permanently destroyed after gazing on the pure horror scattered about everywhere I looked.

I'm convinced that if a crew had been here, I would not be terrified of Santa.

I hope management intends to roast these sub-human employees for such a woefully lacking performance.

The next time I go on an inspection, I demand proper compensation! This is awful...
Official Inspection Report
Never in all my years have I witnessed a workshop as tragic and filthy as I did this week.

The failure of the restoration crew employed to work the site during the week is beyond unforgivable!

Should Management decide to continue employing these... reprobates, I myself will be forced to resign.

As it is, I question how they were ever even\ngiven access in the first place!\n\nI intend to inquire more over at the HR office. Even if the people there are not from my department, something must be done!
Official Inspection Report
I've inspected work before, but nothing this bad!

I am shocked and speechless, what could I possibly comment on?

Not a few paces into the site and I was covered in Elf blood, their innocent faces gazing at me as I stumble and trip on countless sharp and broken items which used to fill my heart with joy! The amount of blood on every surface... beyond words.

I didn't dare check the whole workshop, I was already in tears after 5 minutes. I'm never going back in there again!

I need to see my doctor, again. I just...AAAH!

Newspaper Clippings Edit

Notices found in the Office after completing the Santa's Rampage level are published by different newsletters: "The Polar Times", "The Arctic Paper", "Alpine Recline", "Avalanche Report", "Blizzard News", "Flake Mail", "Igloopalooza", "The Elf Press", and "Terror Watch".

Upon destroying Christmas items
Children around the world are crying after a statement released by the arctic postal service that: "Due to the tragic events at Santa's Workshop and the complete and unsanctioned destruction of festive items and presets by the restoration crew employed to cleanup, Christmas is cancelled."

While Christmas may not actually be cancelled, the delivery of parcels to children across the world is now impossible.

"There is simply not enough time anymore thanks to their Janitors, sorry kids..."
Upon leaving blood
Desperate attempts to curb the outbreak of "Elf Flu" gripping the world at the moment continue, while authorities launch a man hunt for those responsible after scientists revealed the source of the outbreak in each case was a blood tainted gift sent from "Santa's Workshop" in the north pole.

The workshop has denied responsibility despite having packaged the goods. They instead claim a sanitation corporation is responsible.
The ongoing efforts of world governments to address the limitless swarm of parasite carrying tropical flies that have plagues the north pole have led to the entire area being quarantined; some 200 square miles.

Scientists cannot explain how the flies have survived, but they do know the cause: traces of Elf blood within a workshop near the north pole.

Various agencies are at present seeking suspects. Primary among them is the restoration crew.
Upon leaving soot marks
Tragic news this week after an Elf was shot to death while delivering presents on Christmas eve.

The Elf, reportedly slipped in through a window, but was shot after being mistaken for a thief.
This may be due to the Elf having been covered in black soot.

The Elf's employer states that the soot came from the workshop, the result of a scorch mark not cleaned up by the restoration crew employed to clean up last week.
Naturally they are being prosecuted.
After countless reports of goods recieved from "Santa's Workshop" containing black residue, families around the world are prosecuting "Santa" for ongoing cases of tuberculosis.

"Santa's Workshop" maintains that they are not really to blame, but that the restoration corporation employed to clean the workshop failed to clean-up some black "sooty" markings.

Santa is still believed to be on the run, and there is no evidence to suggest he is involved with the new management at the workshop.
Upon leaving Elf parts
Various Elf unions are in an uproar this week after it became known that a large beast prowling the north pole has killed and eaten several Elves working in the area.

Strange reports suggest it is the mythical Abominable Snowman who is responsible.

Authorities claim the beast may have obtained a taste for Elf after consuming dead Elves found in a nearby workshop that was not properly sanitized.

The restoration corporation maintain their innocence.
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Horrifying reports indicate that the entire workforce at a logging camp in the arctic circle were devoured by polar bears earlier this week.

The camp leader, an Elf, was apparently the first to be eaten, followed by his staff, many of which were Elves too.

Scientists believe the polar bears had gained a taste for Elf after consuming body parts left by careless janitors at another workshop 20 miles away, however ludicrous that sounds.
Upon leaving Reindeer parts
Increasing reports of vomitting are still coming in since tuesday when a local "Abominable Burger" opened its doors.

After it was revealed by a local hunter that he tasted Reindeer in the burger, patrons began to vomit uncontrollably.

Despite this increase in meat quality, customers are prosecuting the fast-food chain and attempting to trace the meat to its supplier.

Early evidence points to "Santa's Workshop" for supplying the meat.
An entire airport in Argentina was closed on thursday after a package from the north pole came through customs.

The package reportedly contained what at first seemed like jerky, but turned out to be deeply rotted Reindeer meat, thus leading to the closure of the airport until proper containment could be ensured.

The Argentinian government are demanding answers from the sender; a workshop in the north pole.
Upon leaving a knife
A famous sous chef at a Canadian hotel has been arrested on suspicion of negligence after several patrons reportedly took ill from eating the popular veal dish served at the restaurant.

The chef's lawyer claims that his client is innocent and that his filleting knife (a recent purchase) is to blame. The knife, obtained from a mail order with "Santa's Workshop" could very well have been one of the murder weapons used during the workshop's recent "incident".

Authorties are investigating the possibility.
Not a few hours before the biggest show in the arctic circle was to be opened to the public, Snuffle Knifefinger, the famous Elf knife juggler was found dead in his tent.

Fellow entertainers say they had never seen the knife before and that he would never use such a knife for his act, it's too big.

Police suggest he may simply have been curious, and attempted to juggle it anyway.

The Elf community is in an uproar over the police once again simply dismissing the death of an Elf without even bothering to investigate.
Upon leaving a piece of glass
After the recently restored "Santa's Workshop" returned to work on monday, the new Elven employees have started dying again.
Reports indicate the Elves have all died as a result of sharp glass pieces that were not cleared from the worksite by the sanitation crew employed the previous week.

Naturally, their corporation is being sued for damages by various Elf unions.

"Tiny Littleton" himself is seeking the death penalty for those responsible.
The famous glass eater, Billy "Major Pane" Johnson died on wednesday after consuming some luxury chocolates sent from "Santa's Workshop" for Christmas.

Billy, caught unprepared by the stray glass shards in the chocolate box died in mere minutes.

Billy's agent has urged authorities to bring the culprits to justice, and is offering a reward. The company responsible for the workshop's restoration has come forward with employee names in hopes of claiming the reward.
Upon leaving a bottle of eggnog
The Society for the Prevention of Clubbed Albatross have accused a cleanup crew employed to work on a workshop in the north pole of "polluting the north sea with the most rotten "Chuck Hurlington's Eggnog" known to man."

Several species of seals and albatross are in danger of being wiped out by the toxic pollutant. As yet, little can be done to remove the thick and slimy layer that coats the ocean.

As a result, "Chuck Hurlington's" have since added a warning label to their product:

"May react unfavorably with salt water."

After being thoroughly disappointed with his presents, young Alby threw a tantrum and then ran to his room. In the night he drunk the Eggnog he received from the north pole, sending him into a drunken rage.

In the morning, a neighbor found Alby covered in blood and passed out next to his dead mother and father. Authorities are bringing a law suit against the disreputable workshop who sent alchohol to the child.

Alby is yet to be adopted...
Upon leaving disposal bins
In what can only be described as a disaster, it has come to the attention of authorities that the recently sunk "RMS Gigantic" cruise ship was the result of an unnatural iceberg.

The iceberg reportedly formed around a disposal bin left floating in the north sea.

The disposal bin's serial number has led authorities to the culprits; a sanitiation company likely employed to work a job in the north pole.

The structural design of the "RMS Gigantic" is presently being questioned.
The unscrupulous actions of "Little Finger" are well known. A deadly and elusive assassin who has no problem throwing his Elf brethren to the wolves, always leaving a calling card for the authorities has done it again.

Early Monday, "Little Finger" killed the famous leader of the "Activists for Respected and Safe Elves" organization.

Authorities are blaming a sanitation company for the disposal bin "Little Finger" used to remain undetected in the crowd prior to the assassination.
Upon leaving buckets
Scientists studying the avalanche that covered a town in the arctic circle last week have come to some startling conclusions. Apparently a simple bucket left in the snow was the cause.

Due to the build up of snow drift around the bucket on an otherwise clear cliffside, the entire area eventually gave way.

Authorities are pursuing legal action against the sanitation group recently employeed to work in the artic circle. It remains to be seen if anything comes of it.
The famous Narwhal "Nelly" was recently discovered dead in the arctic circle.

Conerns over the outcome of the rest of his pod are high, as "Nelly" has been the Alpha male for over 50 years.
However, his death was not natural...

Strong evidence suggests a sanitation company are responsible, given the presence of a bucket stuck to "Nelly's" elongated canine or "horn". Authorities are at present trying to prosecute those responsible.
Upon leaving spent ammunition
The old "Cloudy Peaks" asylum has recieved a strange new patient: "Blinky Bellfeet".

The Elf was admitted after reportedly "freaking out" at his new job working in "Santa's Workshop". His small colleagues suggest he lost it after drinking from a shotgun casing he momentarily mistook for a drinking glass. They say he went "odd" after he was told the dark story behind the workshop's recent and tragic history; we all remember it well...

We hope the little tyke gets better soon!
Truly tragic news this week. It has become known that Comet, the last remaining Reindeer of Santa's herd has died.

It's well known that Santa killed all his other reindeer last week, along with all his staff. Comet was lucky enough to escape and has been carefully nursed since then.

However, on saturday he consumed a shell casing delivered to the farm from the restored "Santa's Workshop". Suspicions abound, but it remains to be seen who will be punished for this tragedy.
Upon leaving Molotov cocktails
A postal service office in the north pole has burned down following careless handling of a package from the recently restored "Santa's Workshop".

The package, said to contain a molotov cocktail and other substances is believed to have exploded, setting the whole office alight. Whether the package was a mistake or not is still being investigated, as is the restoration crew employed to work the workshop last week.

Many children around the world will not be getting their presents this year...
Authorities surrounded an alpine cabin this week, after finding definitive proof that the cabin was the long believed headquarters of the Klu Klux Klause, the mysterious group that seem to have ties to countless criminal activities.

The FBI say they found proof in the form of a KKK video in which a one-of-a-kind "La Baguette" bottle was spotted.

The bottle, believed to have been incorrectly shipped from a recently sanitized workshop has angered the KKK greatly.

The leader has stated he will have his revenge.
Upon leaving dynamite bundles or sticks
Early on Christmas morning, young Tommy was ecstatic to discover a gift from Santa among his presents.

His parents however were less impressed when Tommy pulled a stick of dynamite out of his gift and promptly lit it.

The family died instantly in the resulting explosion that destroyed their living room.

Authorities have since traced the stick to Santa's workshop and discovered that a sanitation company was to blame.
After the recent terrorist attack on a reindeer farm, the FBI have revealed that the explosive device is believed to have been obtained from the recently restored 'Santa's Workshop".

It is believed that the stick of dynamite was procured with the help of an inside man.

The sanitation company who restored the workshop claim the stick was left on the scene by an employee, and that they might also be a terrorist.

Authorities have not yet rules out Santa as the prime susped, given the dangerous fugitive's MO.
Upon leaving wood pieces and rubble
Tragic news this week after the body of an Elf was discovered trapped under a piece of rubble.

Believed to have been crushed when the rubble fell off a table, the Elf in question would have suffered for hours before succuming.

Tiny Littleton, secretary general of the "Elves for Fairness" union is insisting the cleanup crew responsible for leaving such debris within reach be punished.

Others suggest Santa may be involved and still hiding in the area.
Little Jacob woke up early on Christmas day, eager to rip open his presents. His first present however, contained only a piece of broken masonry, sending Jacob into a frenzy.

His parents have since sued "Santa's Workshop" for such an abominable gift. However, the workshop are defiantly claiming they are not responsible, and that some sanitation corporation is instead.

Jacob has since been medicated. His already falling grades are sure to suffer...

House of Horror Edit

Completion Notices Edit

Upon receiving an Employee of the Month Award
Dear Novice:

Your exceptional performance has been noted.
As I understand it, the inspector was most pleased.

On behalf of upper ascendence, I have been asked to invite you to a closed ritual in which we will award you for your conduct.

Many notable cult leaders will be in attendance. Proper initiate conduct is expected, failure to present yourself with abject reverence will lead to award forfeiture.

Also, thanks to you the performance marking system is being re-evaluated.
Thank you, and contrafibularities.
The Zombie Weekly
After a stunningly efficient performance by a sanitation novice last week, they were awarded the coveted "Sanitary Spectre" seal.

However, after attending the exclusive ceremony in which they were handed the seal, they carelessly soiled the "Sacred Parchment" while attempting to read it.

The novice has since had their seal stripped from them and will have to settle for "Employee of the Month" and our personal "Brainless Ghoul" award.

Cult leaders are consider more severe punishments...
Upon receiving a promotion
Dear Novice:

After due consideration and thorough investigation it is the coven's view that you should recieve a promotion.

You shall recieve the following benefits:

-Upgrade from 24x32" wardrobe to a 26x40" one.
-A 5% devotion increase!
-A 3 space jump on the cult equipment waiting list.

Keep up the good work and you could rise to the esteemed position of Sanitation Grand Master within 20 years!
Thank you, and have a nice day.
"I was genuinely astounded.
Not once in all my long years have I seen such an efficient crew!

Not only was everything spotlessly clean and exorcised, it was also organized and tidy.

I would love for this to become the norm, therefore I am requesting that we raise the expectations of our novices. A higher bar will encourage better efficiency.

I foresee a troubled time for this group, they are sure to be the envy of many of our more violent initiates.
In the meantime, I encourage you to award this exceptional crew!"
Upon completing an acceptable job
Aerospace Sanitation .Inc
East Building Administration Park A2
Earthly Plane
Official Inspection Report
(As conducted by Mr.HP Azazel) - forwarded to cleaning crew
"I found the state of the home to be acceptable; more or less.
Despite searching the property thoroughly, I was unable to find major fault. At least with the cleaning performance.

The crew employed to work on this home performed reasonaby well, and I would recommend that they be assigned to other homes.

I did however feel a dark presence watching me, but if other employees followed this example, I would be pleased.

I'll be keeping a watchful eye on this reclamation crew. If they don't follow procedures, we may have\nto expunge them."
Upon completion of a sub-par job
Aerospace Sanitation .Inc
East Building
Administration Park A2
Earthly Plane
Official Notice
(From the desk of Mr.J Ripper)
Dear Novice:

The sub-standard work ethic that you demonstrated last week will not be tolerated!

Consider this your official warning; shape up!

Given your performance, the following are now in effect:

-Instant dismissal from cult equipment waiting list.
-Reduction to an 18x24" wardrobe.
-Negation of cult privileges.
-A downgrade to the F-Series C'thulu Mop.

Thank you, and good day.
Aerospace Sanitation .Inc
East Building
Administration Park A2
Earthly Plane
Official Notice
(From the desk of Mr.J Ripper)
Dear Novice:

Your conduct during last week's work shift has led to an official inquiry into the compay's cult operations.

We cannot afford to continue indenturing destructively incompitent individuals such as yourself.

Consider this your final notice; you are banished!

Grand Masters will be over to question you soon.
You are to have your wardrobe cleared out by tomorrow, and you are to hand in your mop and novice robes at once!

Thank you, and good day.
Aerospace Sanitation .Inc
East Building
Administration Park A2
Earthly Plane
Official Notice
(From the desk of Mr.J Ripper)
Dear Novice:

Your indenturement contract is hereby revoked.

We will not bother banishing you. You'll be joining everyone else in eternal damnation as the coven shuts down.

I will make it my personal mission to ensure that every god damn office and sect on the planet knows not to hire you, ever!

I wish I could see your face, but now I too must find a new cult, with this stain on my record no less!
May you rot in whatever hole you crawled out of!

Thank you, and enjoy the ritual...
"If a reclamation crew was employeed to work on this home, I didn't see any sign of their work.
The house was a horror show! More than once I got attacked by some unholy animate household item.
There were even remains of the previous owner assailing my person!

I'm convinced that if a crew had been here, I would still have full control of my bowels.

I should hope management intends to persecute these wretched employees.

The next time I go on an inspection, I demand proper protective clothing! This is unnatural..."
"Never in all my years have I entered a home as horrifyingly nightmarish as I did this week.

The failure of the reclamation crew employed to work on the home during the week is beyond indescribable!

Should Management decide to continue indenturing these... apes, I myself will be forced to resign.

As it is, I question how they were ever even let into the building in the first place!

I intend to inquire more over at Demon Resources.
Even if the "people" there are not from my department, something must be done!"
"I've seen some things, but never like this!

I am simply confounded, what could I possibly say?

Not a few feet into the home and I was covered in blood, rotting pumpkins and then repeatedly assaulted by possessed objects!
The amount of filth on every surface... beyond measure.

I didn't dare check the whole house for fear of my life. I'm never going back in there, ever!

I would suggest banishing these...savages, but I fear we'll need all the help we can get to clean this up!

I need to see my doctor, again. I just...AAAH

They don't train you to handle something like that!"

Newspaper Clippings Edit

Upon leaving disposal bins
The Zombie Weekly
News of a deathly kind this week, like every week.

A man was recently beaten to death against his car in the east suburbs.
Witnesses report seeing the man "boxed in" by several bio-waste disposal bins.
The bins, apparently able to walk, surrounded Mr.F Krueger and repeatedly threw themselves at him, forcing the man's body against his hideous Mercury Bobcat.

The suspects are still at large, so don't become tenderized meat if you can help it.
Daily Hallows
Fascinating news this morning.
Early reports indicate a popular high-school jock was viciously consumed last night while relieving himself in an alleyway by what can only be described as a "Gelatinous Entity", which apparently housed itself inside a waste disposal bin.

Some tears and cheers were shed over the tragic news, while authorities attempt to track the bin's origin.

Some attempts are being made to secure the "Gelatinous Entity", but as yet it has slipped away.
Upon leaving water buckets
The Zombie Weekly
Tragic news as yet another exorcist has been found dead this month.

Some blame the moon, but others believe the bucket is a tainted object from the recent closure of an inter-dimensional gateway.
Whatever the case, the man was cut into small pieces by the sharp object before backup arrived.

How exactly the bucket was not properly disposed of remains a mystery.

Attempts are being made to commune with the demonic plane for answers.
The Cannibal Digest
Horrifying news out of the south valley this week as a playschool's grounds and attendies were devoured by some manner of Lovcraftian horror that took the form of a giant worm.

The monster, reportedly 5 meters in height and wearing a bucket tore through the grounds and began attacking the children.

The school body is currently under persecution by parents, but they are instead investigating and blaming some cleaning corporation for the incident, citing the bucket as hard evidence.
Upon leaving blood splatters
The Zombie Weekly
A real-estate agent was found dead in a recently "reclaimed" home this week.

Patches of old blood found at the scene indicate that the home was not properly cleansed and exorcised by whoever was employeed to do so.

It is believed that the woman was killed by some form of entity that formed from the blood. Small traces of "morphing substrate" were found within the blood samples.

Needless to say, the sanitation firm will be punished!
The Haematic Digression
Yet another local group of melancholic blood suckers have "roosted" in an abandoned home.

This is the third time this month that the emerging clique of youngsters has taken over an abandoned premises.
Reportedly drawn to the building because of uncleansed blood desposits, the local police department are once again hesitant to acknowledge responsibility, and as such are leaving things as is.

The city council meanwhile is suing a sanitation firm\nfor the unfortunate situation.
Upon leaving Trash
The Zombie Weekly
Strange reports are still coming in this week from the suburbs where a crowd has now gathered on the lawn of a recently "reclaimed" home.

Police and other civil protection services are hesitant to approach what has been described as "an inhabited trash bag".
Onlookers claim the bag moves and shakes repeatedly.
No one really knows what's inside yet, so stay tuned for further info.
In the meantime, everyone agrees that the bag should never have been left there unattended.
The Boiling Cauldron
Well known local supplier of witch goods, Boil and Potch's has reportedly accrued a surplus of ingredients from an abandoned home.

Although it's stated that the goods were a "trashy find", we expect them to be of the usual fine quality that the supplier is well known for.

Authorities are currently attempting to track the items, but have so far only managed to blame some sanitation firm for leaving said supplies in the open.

Be sure to visit the shop for the sale this week, hags!
Upon leaving trash cans
The Zombie Weekly
Tragic, but not unheard of news out of the suburbs this week as a mailman, or rather his scalp was found in the front yard of a recently "reclaimed" home.
Believed to be the victim of a changeling that hid out in an overturned trash can.

A vain attempt to console the child likely led to the man's death.
No one knows where the child is now, but by all accounts it seems authorities are more focussed on punishing the cleanup crew employeed to work the site not two days prior.
The Itchy Sore
What began with a good samaritan, ended with a dead, and rather flat samaritan.

Mr. Detritus was strolling down the pavement when he rushed over to correct an overturned trash can in the neighbor's yard.
Mr. Detritus promptly slipped, became lodged in the trash can, and then began to roll inexorably toward the road.
It was at this point that truck driver Steve Earl, enamoured with a new porn collection, prompty rode over Mr. Detritus, killing him instantly.

Earl has since been harvested.
Upon leaving viscera
The Zombie Weekly
Locals are outraged after a group of eldery from the nearby "Old Bones" retirement home were attacked by a gang of severed human appendages.

Several eldery were harmed before authorities could subdue the rowdy limbs.
The community is calling for answers, and it looks as if local law enforcement already have some suspects.
A cleaning company appears to be at fault for not properly disposing of the appendages.

Someone is sure to get a kick in the teeth for this one...
The Sanctimonious
Rev. John Green was brutally devoured by the servants of satan early last tuesday.
I ask you, can we allow these demons to wander in our midst!?

John was a good man, he sought only to cleanse a tainted home, but instead he was attacked by foul heathens, likely drawn by the scent of human flesh upon the house, and consummed by the wretched souls.

We must rise up, fellow believers.
Rise up and punish those who brought such evil down upon us!
Upon leaving kitchenware
The Zombie Weekly
Terrifying news out of the suburbs; some family children were found to have killed, repeatedly.

What began as an ordinary dinner for the Thompson family, ended in a bloodbath after their young child, Timmy took up some recently aquired kitchen knives and murdered his family.

Details are sketchy, but the kitchenware is believed to have come from an auction of the late "Adams Family Estate".

Timmy has since been caught and subdued, but those responisble have not...
The Poltergeist
During the showing of a recently "reclaimed" home, an interested buyer was reportedly assaulted by kitchenware.

The family, having since lost interest in the purchase, is suing the real-estate agency for the unexplainable phenomenon.
The agency however is blaming the cleanup crew recently employeed to reclaim the home, stating that it was their fault for leaving possessed kitchenware around the house.

The property has since been cordoned off.
Upon leaving jack'o lanterns
The Zombie Weekly
Dreadful news from the suburbs this week when a dead Pomeranian, Queequeg was found mutilated on the sidewalk.

The dog, having wandered off from its home, presumably to urinate on a lamp-post, was soon attacked by a solitary assailant; an animate Jack'o Lantern.

The lantern, believed to be a remnant of a recently reclaimed household has since rotted away.

Authorities are persuing the sanitation firm for this utter tragedy.
Twisted Times
During a recent speech by local legend, "Sick Pup" on the hard life of a "trash-core" musician, a group of Jack'o men emerged from the streets and attacked several event goers.

Law enforcement believe the animated stick + pumpkin men were a result of the recently reclaimed home on Helm street.
Police are currently seeking suspects in the case, starting with the sanitation corporation.

The Jack'o Men have since vanished...
Upon leaving canned food
The Zombie Weekly
Revolting news still coming in this week from the suburbs where a man, or at least his body is still "emitting" an endless stream of what has been labelled "corpse worms".

Believed to have consumed canned food from a recently "reclaimed" home, the man's corpse is infecting the entire neighborhood with ungodly parasites. Several small dogs and a muscle man have already fallen victim to the legion of foul, slithering corpse worms and their putrid bile.

Authorities are busy tracking down those responsible for the reclamation.
Children from the "Kindergrube" school reported seeing a strange homeless man living under the nearby bridge this week.

When police investigated, they found a mutated monster wearing human rags and hoarding canned food. It attacked on sight, wounding several officers and snacking on another.

The majority of the food seems to have come from a recently reclaimed home on Helm street.

Attempts are being made to apprehend the company hired to clear the home.
Upon not cleaning the burial room in the basement
The Zombie Weekly
It's a dark moment in our town's history when a local fisherman should be murdered by having a peace pipe shoved down his throat.

Reports indicate the fisherman's family had ties to the legendary Black Ridge slaughter in which a whole tribe of indians were wiped out by colonists.

The man appears to have been killed by an ancestral spirit from the same tribe, who settled in this area.
Evidence of their graves were found in a recently reclaimed home, but were not removed...
Haunted Monthly
Abraham Kentucky, a local militia man was found dead this week in his home, a hatchet buried in his skull.

His wife tells us that he would wake in the night screaming and stating that he was being hunted by a tall indian man.
The description of the man matches historical records of Chief Bloodhawk, a great warrior who overthrew countless tribes in the area.

Authorities believe the recently discovered burial site at a supposedly reclaimed home nearby could very well have been his final resting place.
Upon leaving broken glassware
The Zombie Weekly
Slightly unusual news this week.

Reports indicate a somewhat well known cult leader, Philus Hunter lost his hair while walking past a recently reclaimed premises.

His order apparently appoints its leaders by hair length. And after losing his, he is sure to lose his position too.

The cult leader is currently charging a sanitation firm for the possessed kitchenware shards that robbed him of his priceless strands and shamed him among his fellows.
Cold Feet Press
Horrifc things happen to us all, but of all the things I've heard, this is the strangest.

During a tour of a reclaimed home, the interested buyers' treasured prize dog "Schloopy", fully expected to have bred a healthy litter, was gelded by a stray shard of kitchenware left around the home.

The owners are furious, insisting that some incompetent sanitation agency has cost them countless bundles of cash.

Our thoughts go out to "Schloopy".
Upon leaving the Voodja board
The Zombie Weekly
Reports are coming in of "demonic livestock" roaming the neighborhood, trampling residents.

The cause, speculated to be the result of a cursed "Voodja Board" being used as a butcher's cutting block and thus providing a blood sacrifice is an absurd notion.
Given the state of things though, who can say otherwise?

Authorities are busy tracing the cursed item, stating that it may have come from a recently reclaimed home.
Cursed Gazette
Mrs. Frakenwolffe, a well known community leader recently took a darker path down the trail of life.

Having reportedly "communed" with some entity through a "Voodja Board" and eventually convinced of her own importance, she set out to perform unspeakable acts of murder, killing her friends, boss and family, and ultimately being arrested and restrained by authorities.

There can be only one group to blaim for this; those meant to clear the "Voodja Board" from the home Mrs. Frakenwolffe was to approve for resale.
Upon leaving the lawnmower
The Zombie Weekly
Horrific news this week when a group of "Race Walkers" were mercilessly mowed down by a possessed lawn mower that leapt forth from a bush they were passing by while walking the local park circuit.

Two of the group were killed, with little to no solid remains to be found. Three others were severely injured before the lawn mower's blade jammed on a build-up of spandex and bone.

The Race Walkers Association(RWA) are prosecuting a sanitation firm after authorities revealed that they are the prime suspect in the case.
Infernal Gardening
A tragic incident at this year's "Turf War" has led to the annual event being cut short.

The famous event where contestants battle to trim more square feet of turf with their chosen machines was disrupted when one contestant's lawn mower went rogue and "devoured" the adjudicator.

The machine, believed to have been illegally aquired from a recently reclaimed home, has sparked contraversy and brought about an official probe into the sanitation firm assigned to the reclamation.

Shadow WarriorEdit

Completion NoticesEdit

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Newspaper ClippingsEdit

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