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JaniTOSS Workstation

The JaniTOSS Workstation main menu

The JaniTOSS Workstation is the interactive file system found on the BitterMan 500 Computer in the Office. It features yellow text on a dark blue screen, watermarked by the game's logo.

At the bottom of the screen is a reference to the manufacturing company Lemon Computers, referred to in the BitterMan 500 paper advertisement. The text reads "Proudly designed by Lemon Computers in Cauliflower Valley. Manufactured by Nixlife corporation in Hellview Industrial Complex."

The JaniTOSS Workstation can be used like the PDA, in that the player can manipulate a cursor on the smaller screen.

The main menu has three options to choose from, which link to many kinds folders, images (gallery is at the end of the article), documents, error messages, and more. The file tree is outlined below:

MyWorkplace Edit

Temp Edit

report394.doc -> DELETED

report394.doc -> DELETED

report394.doc -> DELETED

report394.doc -> DELETED

report394.doc -> DELETED

report394.doc -> DELETED

bob.txt -> DELETED

CatPictures Edit

model1.img -> A close up of a car engine

model2.img -> A more zoomed out image of model1.img with more of the brown car in frame

neb.img -> A moving image with red clouds

ive_seen_things.img -> The view through a door window of an incinerator in a bloody room

grogland13.img -> A bird's-eye-view of a castle and courtyard with mountains in the background

grogland14.img -> A ground level image of grogland13.img

grogland15.img -> A small image with trees and a tower

grogland16.img -> A haunted-looking mansion at night

jxcincap12.img -> A black and white photo of a masked figure

beach.img -> An image of a topless man with horns, blood in the background, and a floating black form with red eyes (possibly a screenshot from another game)

Private Edit

Work Edit

DrainCleaningCorpCatalouge2183 -> DCCC2183.link -> "Online resource unreachable. Network unavailable at this time. Please be sure to remain productive while you wait."

todo.txt -> opens to a list titled Todo.txt with the following items:

  • Get safety helmet patched
  • Collect malk and eurggs
  • Shutdown Incinerator
  • Uncomment bug disabling code
  • Take time out to appreciate life


How to unclog a D3ss59-k.link -> "Online resource unreachable..."

warning.link -> "Online resource unreachable..."

Message87592_Dave_GonnaGetMeOneOfThese. -> An image of a Janitor in front of a huge Big Banger on the level Athena's Wrath.

Site449 -> Leads to three more tabs:

  • About Elysium Fields.link -> "Online resource unreachable..."
  • Notes.txt -> Leads to a list titled Notes.txt
    • Take Left Elevator
    • Check trash receptacles
    • Clean synsand sifter siphons
    • Wash advertising screens
    • Resparkle sparkle sprinklers
    • Avoid using faulty incinerator unit
    • Wash lavatory outflow. DON'T FORGET SNORKEL THIS TIME!
    • Resprinkle sprinkle sparklers
  • 3072_1.img -> A larger high-contrast photo out a window from Athena's Wrath


BoringWork.sht -> Dv-r0lh?■■3ok■˙NIU˙[ }_oN¢0ShR}GT

Games -> Leads to three folders:

  • Fail Golf 3181 ->
    • Golf.pit -> jibberish
    • Golf.exe -> "This game requires an online connection to play. Please use the EuwPlai launcher and make sure you are running Gas(tm), Phunn(tm) and both EezeeCon clients."
  • Janitor Simulator 2184
    • SJ2184.dat -> jibberish
    • SJ2184.ini -> Leads to list titled SJ2184.ini
      • E = Exit
      • W = PayToWin
      • N = NextCinematic
      • S = SkipPlay
      • 1 = Pay$100
      • 2 = Pay$220
      • 3 = Pay$450
      • 4 = Pay$800
      • 5 = Pay$2000
      • F = AskFriendsToBuy
    • SJ2184.exe -> "This game requires an online connection to play. Please use the EuwPlai launcher and make sure you are running Gas(tm), Phunn(tm) and both EezeeCon clients."
  • Broom.exe -> Leads to a list of game files:
    • DATA.wad -> jibberish
    • PAK0.pak -> jibberish
    • Game.mpq -> jibberish
    • PAK1.pk3 -> jibberish
    • license.doc -> Leads to a truncated "license agreement" titled License.doc:
      • "TL:DR
        Basically, don't do anything.
        You have exactly no rights, whatsoever.
        Probably best to just go fucking hang yourself right now...
        But be sure to do it legally or there'll be trouble!
        Seriously, we can do shit with your corpse!
        "
    • SOUNDS.dat -> jibberish
    • place.cat -> jibberish
    • con.fig -> Leads to a file containing commands for the game:
      • ClickLeft=TurnLeft
      • ClickRight=TurnRight
      • ClickUp=MoveForward
      • ClickDown=MoveBack
      • ClickCenter=Shoot
    • BROOM.exe --> Allows the player to "play" a game that parodies DOOM. Movement and actions are limited to those listed in the con.fig file above. Click the red square with an X in the upper left corner to exit the game.
    • BROOM3D.GRP -> jibberish


Untitled -> Leads to a list of files, all related to the level Unearthly Excavation:

  • just_got_this_in.txt -> "weird shit sent over from the grubs in drs department. not shure where this cme from."
  • camfeed_h_neugierwicz32.img -> The first Pit Monster in Unearthly Excavation
  • camfeed_h_neugierwicz41.img -> A badly-cropped image of a Work-Site Light in the caves
  • camfeed_h_neugierwicz73.img -> A worker in HAZMAT gear
  • camfeed_h_neugierwicz76.img -> The second Pit Monster from ground level
  • camfeed_h_neugierwicz77.img -> The second Pit Monster from the ledge above it
  • camfeed_h_neugierwicz78.img -> A close up image of the Pit Monster's mouth
  • camfeed_h_neugierwicz79.img -> An even closer view inside the Pit Monster's mouth
  • camfeed_h_neugierwicz81.img -> An extreme close up of what looks like digestive juices (probably the photographer being eaten)
  • noise.aud.snd -> Audio file that plays the gurgling sound of a Pit Monster

Other site photos Edit

site_photos_37.img -> A janitor hold a Laser Welder in front of a Slosh-O-Matic

site_photos_106.img -> A janitor firing a welder in a bright orange room

site_photos_92.img -> Janitors using the welder to set things on fire in a large hallway

site_photos_824.img -> A collection of pus pods from Hydroponic Hell

site_photos_55.img -> A grungy close up of a janitor in front of the fireplace Santa's Rampage

site_photos_636.img -> A first-person view of two janitors in the background (one dead), and an unused Laser Welder, in a tunnel in the Waste Disposal level

site_photos_29.img -> Janitors in a cluttered Office

site_photos_172.img -> Three janitors posing with mops in a large room

Reports Edit

Deprecated -> Empty

Upgraded.txt -> Leads to a file titled Upgraded.txt which reads "Report system successfully migrated.
Use the new message board system to file reports.
"

Inspire(tm) Me! Motivational Quote Edit

(Clicking this will display a random "inspirational" quote from your superiors.)

SYSTEM Edit

FORBIDDEN
This area is restricted to authorised system technicians only

NETWORK Edit

Local Edit

(This leads back to the original "MyWorkplace" folder.)

CorporateServer1 Edit

"Network unavailable at this time.
Please be sure to remain productive while you wait."

WORKSTATION_BOB Edit

"FORBIDDEN;
Network location unavailable"

WORKSTATION_PETE Edit

MyWorkplace Edit

  • Private -> "FORBIDDEN; Access denied"

Reports Edit

  • report02-07-2183 -> "Routine maintenance on sector 88. Work time 2 hours 26 minutes."
  • report13-08-2183 -> "The site was in an appauling state. Biological debris everywhere. They had clearly sent the right man for the job."
  • report14-08-2183 -> "Unbelievable. How did they do it... in one single day."
  • report23-08-2183 -> "A fresh chemical leak of some unknown substance into the food processing plant. Work time 7 hours 18 minutes."
  • report01-09-2183 -> "Routine maintenance on sector 88. For some reason they sent a couple of foul barbarians to assist with the work. The impact on efficiency was dramatic. Work time 14 hours 7 minutes"

WORKSTATION_TERENCE Edit

"FORBIDDEN;
Network location unavailable"

WORKSTATION_HJS Edit

MyWorkplace Edit

  • Private -> "FORBIDDEN; Access denied"

Reports Edit

  • report01.txt -> "Door locked. Not could go in so drink beer now do report"
  • report02.txt -> "Me find stuff
    Taste lik bark.
    Screw flanders. Screw flanders. Screw flanders.
    Screw flanders. Screw flanders. Screw flanders.
    Screw flanders. Screw flanders. Screw flanders."
  • report03.txt -> "ctrl escape ctrl eexit exit exit you god damn piece of"

CorporateServer23 Edit

"Network unavailable at this time.
Please be sure to remain productive while you wait."

StationNET Edit

"Network unavailable at this time.
Please be sure to remain productive while you wait."

SkyNET Edit

"There is nothing wrong with your terminal. Do not attempt to adjust the display.
We are now in control of the system."

Image Gallery Edit

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